I’ve spent a fair portion of my adult life feeling really rather dull. It isn’t necessarily an accurate feeling, since I’m sure my closest friends wouldn’t call me dull. However, if you look at their calendars you’ll see plans to visit friends on lambing farms, have butchery lessons, whisky-tastings, go to festivals and more. In comparison, my plans mostly consist of studying or binge-watching episodes of Gossip Girl while trying to avoid phone calls from people I don’t want to talk to.
There might be people reading this who will (reasonably) point out that my friends who make all those interesting plans don’t have M.E and they get paid enough to do those things. Isn’t it being a little hard on yourself to beat yourself up over your lack of ability to do those things?
Well, yes and no. I do feel hard done by. I hate that I can’t go to festivals and take classes and visit lambing farms like my friends do. I hate that I can’t exercise properly or take up amateur dramatics or go back to pottery lessons. Sometimes, on my worst days, I hate the people who can do those things. I hate the way they take it for granted. I hate the way so many people CAN do those things but don’t. But at the same time, there ARE things I could be doing. I could try my hand at scrapbooking, photography, yoga, art, sewing and a million other things. So why don’t I?
Well, I’ve been thinking that’s a bloody good question! With that in mind, here’s the list of things to try in 2016. I don’t have to be great at them. I don’t have to love them. But I do want to try them.
- Writing in different styles
- Sewing (using the sewing machine I paid £100 for 3 years ago and never use)
- Some other form of art
- DIY (it would be amazing to be able to do something impressive like basic plumbing or hanging wallpaper)
- Learn another language (tried Italian a year ago but sopped)
- Shooting! (NOT animals!!!!)
- String art picture
Given that I have two Open University courses on the go right now and one of those has an exam in May or June, I should probably leave it there.
Even making the list makes me feel more positive. Over the next year, I’ll document my attempts and how I get on. Is this the path to an interesting life and happiness? Who knows! But maybe it’s a place to start.